No Talking Tuesday # 275

January 1st 2013

New years moment was rather un-dramatically ushered in through my muteness. 

I welcomed the new year standing on top of a large rock in the Berkeley hills watching the fireworks.

Immediately the moment was soured by the bratty shitty teenagers behind me trying to get me to sit down so they didn't have to stand to see the fireworks. 

I started a long monologue in my mind about how they should enjoy they're spoiled entitled temperaments now while they can, before they realize they can't make a living clicking on things and whining at the world through yelp reviews while sipping boba tea and texting on their phones. 

That the first world economy that caused them to have this skewed perception of reality is riding on fumes and when America cant afford to bully the world to respect the empty value of the petrol dollar, that they're lifestyles are going to come crashing down around them.  

That when they are on there own, the first world American lifestyle of unproductive, useless decadence will have expired and they're find themselves stuck with useless master degrees in comparative literature and wonder why the world hasn't given them all they feel they deserve.  

When suddenly I cut myself short and realized that the first thing I did in the new year was to talk trash in a really derisive vile way. And that's hardly a way to look towards the future, that I'm almost 30 and still think it's ok to chew out teenagers in my mind. I felt ashamed and in admitting that to myself grew up a little in that moment, especially when I remembered that I was just as shitty or more shitty then they were at their age, and so at the very least I could acknowledge that now it's their turn.  

A metaphysical journey into holistic understanding to start 2013. Not bad. 
Now to go listen to some Alan Watts lectures...

No list.