No Talking Tuesday # 281

February 12th 2013

Big mistake!

I was having a long epic conversation with my friend Isaiah on the phone about such high minded topics as the nature of reality, objective morality, truth, the self, mans place in the world etc. when I noticed it was about thirty minutes until midnight.

I made a mental note to wrap up the conversation in about twenty minutes. When I thought twenty minutes had passed I looked at the clock and saw that it was a hour and a half later, and it was past one in the morning! I realized I had talked for a while past midnight and so couldn't talk anymore. Rather than hanging up right then and there, I continued to listen to him explain his point of view (which lasted fifteen minutes) before the conversation dictated a response from me. I then hung up and texted him why, and we left it at that.

I was so shocked at how off I was about the time that I checked to make sure it wasn't daylight savings or something, but no, I had just been engrossed and a very interesting conversation and lost track of time. Which gave me much to mull over in my day of silence.


A new direction in my life

Based on that talk I've decided to be less cynical and negative in my life and relationships. I recognize that this hyper critical sensitivity to imperfection (in myself and others and situations) was a useful skill to develop to purge my own personality and art from many self destructive imperfections (laziness, lack of rigor, lack of systematic analysis and methodical workflow etc.), but that I have reached the end of the line with that critical framework. I've come to the end of that story, and this negative, critical apparatus I've set up and refined is now only going to do me damage. It's hard since I've so heavily invested in this kind of personality infrastructure to not coast on it once it's self running and able to handle my affairs on autopilot. The alternative of starting from scratch with a new story, and a new set of personality modifications aimed at self improvement, is always daunting, but necessary if I want to keep pushing myself to be better than I've been.

So now as I fade out the story of negativity and hyper sensitvity to imperfection, i'm going to work to usher in a new story of leasurly enjoyment and unhesitiating exploration of all the skills i've invested in before. Rather than doing a drawing where I really rigorisly define the perspective, matte surface rendering, calculate cast shadows, color temperature, depth ques etc. constantly scanning for any possible mistake. Instead, now I'll freely explore a drawing with all that I've learned of those things to make new connections and untested interactions with say materials, workflows, etc. To let go a little control and structure for the possibility of inspiring new interactions to manifest themselves, and to eagerly and passionetly explore such surprises with an eye for what's working well, instead of what's not.

The List:

1 prawn burrito please
-Regular
-Blackbeans
-Spinach tortilla
-To go

Little Nemo: The Dream Master - NES



In my sporadic half assed attempt to finally beat the various Nintendo games that bested me as a child; I can finally check off Little Nemo from the list. Always one of my favorite NES games, it feels good to finally beat it!


Up next: Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!

No Talking Tuesday # 280

February 5th 2013

The List:

That I think is as zoomed out
as that shot is

That's not even the right image
though? I did that one first
but you pointed out it was
the wrong one, so I made the
same changes to the other one.

Remember you thought it was a
typo

No Talking Tuesday Year End Wrap Up
End of Year Five

  
Year five has been for lack of a better word, unremarkable. 

I'm no longer worried about making accidental mistakes. 
I hardly ever write anything down to communicate with others anymore. 
I feel I have nothing left to prove to myself or others. 
I mostly stay away from even talking about it or mentioning it in any way. 

My Tuesdays have mostly been the one day a week I can hope to have a chance to catch up on my personal work. They're spent mostly in isolation, working, lost in my head, thinking about light, music, word orders, anatomical forms etc. It's all gotten to the point that being silent, rummaging around my brain, focused on a task feels so natural and like home, that Wednesday through Monday seem like the weird unusual days. 

Part of me wants to answer this comfort level with additional challenges to stretch what this experiment can teach me, and another side of me wants to aknowledge that ultimately this was the whole point; To find peace, stillness, passive acceptance, and non intellectualized belonging in silence. 

 
Click here for summery and origins.

Click here for end of year four. 

Click here for end of year three.

Click here for end of year two.

Click here for end of year one.
  

No Talking Tuesday # 279

January  29th 2013

 
The List:

 Already done
 

 

No Talking Tuesday # 278

January 22nd 2013


No List. Nothing special to report.